Active Avoidance - Written by Wanda Rodriguez - Written on July 31, 2025 - Published on August 7, 2025

Active Avoidance

Written by Wanda Rodriguez

Written on July 31, 2025 

Published on August 7, 2025

I should open by apologizing for my absence in writing consistently in recent weeks but I feel it would be a shallow comment.  I did find it challenging to keep up with my self-imposed writing deadlines during my summer travels.  Said travels, however, concluded a few weeks ago and, until now, I have not picked up the computer to compose my thoughts.  This is not to say that topics, ideas and points of interest didn’t roll freely around in my head. They absolutely did!  It is to say, however, that I lacked the discipline and follow through needed to put pen to paper (keyboard to screen) and complete the task.  I am not entirely sure why, though I have some theories on the matter.  Mainly I chalk it up to active avoidance on my part.  I know what I am supposed to be doing and I understand that I made a commitment to both myself and to God regarding the blog, and yet I have stalled on focusing on the task at hand.  Why?  I have recently been “consistently inconsistent” with other things too, like Bible reading and prayer. 

I think in some respects the writing, though I love it, had become a bit of a self-inflicted pressure to me rather than the release it initially represented.  With my perfectionist tendencies in constant battle with my procrastination (undiagnosed ADHD?) tendencies, I often spent more time agonizing and stalling than I actually did writing.  I find writing to be a rewarding endeavor, but when things mentally cross over from “for fun” to “commitment” I unconsciously find ways to avoid them.  A case and point of this, for me, is home office work, like mail, bills, emails and phone calls.  If you recall previous posts, I refer to sorting mail as playing “Jenga!”

I am not entirely sure if it is defiance or avoidance because I know what I am doing.  Perhaps it is less unconscious than I care to admit.  Talk about annoying!  I will sometimes get in full on mental scraps with myself over things that somehow become bigger than they ever were to begin with!  Do you know what I mean?  When you finally tackle the task that you have been avoiding only to realize it wasn’t that bad afterall!  You then tell yourself, with confidence, that you won’t procrastinate next time!!  The funny thing is, you believe it,100%!! That is, you believe it until the next time you need to get something done.  Old habits die hard!  

The past several days I have been in a blistering funk!  I could not pinpoint exactly why but I am confident that my avoidance cycle played a part.  Sometimes I wake with purpose and accomplish so much!  Other times I wake with great purpose, make mental plans, and then more plans, and so many plans that I don’t really know where to begin.  You spend some time spinning in circles (mental zoomies) and actively seeking (and finding) distractions that before you know it, the day is done and you have accomplished next to nothing!  Can anyone relate to this or is this just a Wanda-phenominon?  I am confident this vicious task-avoidance cycle contributed to my “mood à la crapola” as of late.  A dear friend reminded me that “tomorrow is a new day” and she was right!  Her encouragement helped me to usher in a brighter day!

Today I woke up with my “Eeyore cloud” still in position above me, ready to rain on my day and tank my mood.  I didn’t let it!  I prayed, played some encouraging, upbeat Christian music and mentally sketched out my plan for the day.  Before I could begin negotiating with myself on it (aka self-sabotage), I put on my tennis shoes, put in my head phones and took off walking.  I clocked over 5 miles and listened to the Bible app almost the entire time.  It was grounding to be immersed in God’s word, to be actively seeking Him (and endorphins from walking were a nice bonus!).  All of the sudden my mind was flooded with topics to write about.  Actually, writer’s block is not typically an issue (unless I try to write songs) but I did get a surge of motivation to get back to the old typewriter (laptop) and pound on the keys,

It felt good to walk and get some exercise in!  (Endorphins) It felt good to be in God’s word!   (Feeding time)  It felt good to be in God’s presence!  (Always)  It feels good to be writing and sharing again, I have missed it! You know what else?  It feels good to jump feet first right into that pending home office work and bring it all back in line …..  Wait a minute!!!  Who am I kidding?  That’s just a big, fat fib right there!  Pinocchio alert!!  Haha!  I still have zero interest in doing that job but, maybe one day.  (Maybe I need to hire an assistant.)

As always, thank you for taking the time to read, to share in my journey and to share your thoughts with me!  I hope this finds you well.  -Wanda